A Whole(30) Ass Lie!

I started Whole30 on February 1, 2018. Whole30 is not really a diet it’s more of a detox. You are not allowed to drink; eat any grains or legumes, no dairy products, and no excess sugar. I know I’m missing something else, but it’s not coming to me. I just knew I would be successful. I did Whole30 in like November and I was good! This time would be no different.

I kept a daily food journal of everything I ate. I meal prepped and even hit a little 10-minute workout each morning (its progress mind yo damn business.) Then day 14 hit. February 14th is my mommy’s birthday. She loves chocolate cake, I happen to hate chocolate in general and chocolate cake is the worst of it all. I again knew I would be fine. I don’t know if yaw knew, but February 14th is also known as Valentine’s Day a day where candy, cookies, and sweets are consumed at a higher than average rate. I made it through the workday without any difficulty. I had my smoothie for breakfast, my prepped frittata for a mid-morning snack and juevos con machaca for lunch.

I picked my son up from daycare and of course h, had tons of candy. But, I only like sour candy and he had nothing but chocolate and suckers. We was good again, and the devil was still a lie! Then I went and picked my damn gramma up. She had red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. I held tight and left the cupcakes on the seat but, I could feel them eyeing me, mocking me, saying “eat me Gabby, lemme buss this cream cheese frosting all up in yo mouf” but still, I held on and went to the corner store and got a peach mango coconut water. I drank my water and looked miserably at my son and little sister who were devouring chocolates, candy, and my precious cupcakes and I snapped.

I took a bite of the cupcake and it was gross 😦 wtf! I just ruined my whole two-week progress for a nasty ass mini cupcake. Since I had ruined the whole two weeks, I thought why not up it?! I went home and made dirty rice and fucking Ghirardelli cookies. (Bitch, if you have not had these damn cookies don’t judge. They have white chocolate, milk chocolate and another kind of chocolate and the morsels just bust all in ya mouf and well yeah they’re bomb) I know I said that I don’t like chocolate but these cookies are an exception.

1. I suck
2. Why tf haven’t I bounced back after a week.
3. Why is cheese so damn good?
4. Am I finna be fat forever?

Whatever, I’ll start Whole30 again on March 1st. This time, I won’t be fucking cheating or giving up and my 10 minutes of exercise per day will go up to at least 30 minutes per day. This time I will be successful and I will not be swayed by cupcakes.

I’m still pissed that I risked it all for a damn mini cupcake.

Fuckin fat ass smfh.

Wait, March don’t have no holiday’s right?

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