In summer of 2009, while working at Slaveway, I seemingly met the love of my life. I was only 18, was in a relationship with an African Scammer who told me he was twenty-five but was more like thirty-two (oh. And I’m not telling y’all which African country he was from.) I was unhappy and cheating on him every chance that I could. In my younger years, monogamy meant nothing to me.
Then he walked into the break room, imagine a young Wiz Khalifa when he still smoked blunts and made bangers. He was about 6’0 to my 5’2, had a nose ring, diamond earrings, tattoos and just wow (I’m writing this cheesin’ cuz I remember it like it was yesterday.) The moment I saw him, I knew I wanted him.
Over the next couple of months, I grew our friendship he was 23 and not concerned anything about my young ass. He saw me as an annoying kid till I got my grown woman pants. These pants propelled me from bumpy faced gross teenager to a grown ass woman. They cuffed my ass correctly and hid my baby FUPA. You couldn’t tell me s*** about my tight ass pants and if you did, I wouldn’t believe you.
After a nasty break up w/ my African Scammer, and me finding out that he had a whole a** child and baby mama living in the house I had been over every day for a year, I turned my focus directly to Wiz Khasafeway. I had been wearing my f*** me work pants for months and had caught his eye. I asked him to buy my bottle for a friend’s birthday. He agreed and told me he’d meet me at the liquor store. For him to do this, I’d obviously had to have his number (ayyyyyeee young Finesser! You see me?)
Because this was still in my early rat stages and I didn’t drink often, I didn’t know what kind of bottle to get. I ended up settling on Southern Comfort (1st mistake.) Wiz took a shot with me and we bonded over our drunkness. I was drunk and wandered to the party, and I’m sure I had fun up until I drunk text Khasafeway. Via text I let him know BOMP BOMP (many of you have no clue what bomp bomp means and all that I can suggest is that you please go look up the song it will change your life.) He laughed and shrugged it off to me being drunk.
From that day forward, he and I talked on the phone until we fell asleep. We talked about future and past and learned as much as we could about each other. He’d told me that if anything ever happened between us and s*** went wrong, that we’d always remain friends because of how coo I was. He played me his favorite In January 2010, Wiz finally invited me over. I just knew I was gonna get the D and make him fall in love with me.
That night, I showered, made up some excuse to get out of the house and informed my b****** of the plans. I walked through Skyway Park and in to the Greentree Apartments with my stomach in knots. He opened the door in black and purple basketball shorts and a beater and welcomed me in with a hug. His apartment was clean and smelled lovely, the sexual tension was thick, but not as thick as his prin…nairmind. He asked me if I knew how to roll ( I didn’t but I’m not letting my furture ex husband know this of course) and I grabbed the swisher and started breaking it down. We smoked and put on Precious (still one of the best comedies of the 21st century.) Both of us being high could not contain our laughter. Midway through Precious he looked at me and said “Norman get naked k.) I beamed and undressed standing in all my glory for his eyes only.
He stood there drinking me in and then came to me grabbed me up and kissed me hard. It was at that moment I knew I was in love with him. He then began to undress and unearthed the biggest penis I have seen to date. I had only been with my old scammer and a couple of niggas who definitely didn’t compare to what I was witnessing.
He was my first love, my first orgasm and my first squirting experience. It was because of him that I am a pothead I was sprung and fresh 19. I couldn’t let him shake me.
For the next 6 months we were inseparable. We said our first I love yous (he said it first after giving me a piece of his mind *winks.) Everyone at Slaveway knew we were a thing even though we had never confirmed it. Women who got in his line for checkout were politely dismissed, and men who came checking for me , were flat out ignored. Our breaks were synced; we shared a locker and never went more than fifteen minutes without talking.
Then summer hit again. He told me that we should just be friends. I was devastated and for weeks all I did was write sad status’s on FB and listen to Make it Like it Was by Pretty Ricky on repeat; but s*** summer is a hoodrats favorite season. I started messing with my Scammer again and he went on to the next Hoodrat.
Pero wait, there’s more!